"According to you.."

iwishiwishiwish.
im tired and exhauseted and i  want xmas to come and go.
i want lots of stuff..
=/

Today <3

3 days to go

Tuesday was an eventfull day. I fell asleep, finally, at 5am. woke up around midday, jumped on a bus to the shore, and spent the day at the beach with tim and brit. Theres nothing like summer, the beach, and a few beers.. even if i forgot a bottle opener.
Later, i decided to venture over to kelvin, on apollo drive. Bought him bk and sat for bout an hour or two. it was quite nice =] hehe
Bussed home
Home at 11.30

FML!
so tired
Pokeno tomorrow?

--x

2am
Ahh
Perfect time for a shower
Kekeke
=]

<3
4 days to go

--x

Love

Oh Hey

I miss you <3

Tired

Spent the night drinking rockstar juice, eating BK, and roaming around in a dubbed out Buick. it was fun. Late night chatting can make anyone cheer up. Now im really tired and thinking back, it probrably wasnt the best idea, seeing as ive had about 8 hours sleep over 3 days. Lets see if i can sleep properly tonight..

This month i have learnt the importance of company with friends.

--x

Im physically and emotionally Worn..

but.

i should go out to mums more often, but i dont. i should talk to my dad more, but i dont. i should be trying harder at uni, but im not. i shouldnt waste my days away, but i do. i should stop being lazy and go on a trip, but i wont. i love you, but im scared. i think things are always ok, but they arent. i should be realistic, but im not

Ashleigh and Sarah

"Trust can take years to build, but only a second to break." Unknown

good morning world. and what a not so swell morning it is.  i can hear the rain on the roof.  i finally found out when i get my results back, which is a good thing i guess. and i been spending heaps of time with my friends too, which is another good thing. Good things eh, theyre only limited...




--x

I want one

Dear Body,

Plz can you call up the good cells and get them to distroyy my evil sickness?
k, thanks

regards,
ashleigh

Down with the sickness.

So my exams are over.
no more uni until next march.
THANK YOU LOVELY LORD <3

im just nervous now for my results...

Im still sick, its so bad. kelvin had to get up many times last night, to get me drinks and what not so i'd stop coughing. So thank you kelvin for taking care of me. =] .i am so exhausted, even though i had 16 hours sleep.

i saw surrogates today, shouldve. as everyone said, it WAS average. its ok, dinner made up for it. Goode Brothers is win.

so... life!
i guess i missed out on that while i was at uni.
hopefully ill be going to town this weekend!
and work and stuffs.

ugh. my life
love love love you


---x

only 24 hours to go

today was insane
i am so exhausted

so i guess the endless days of studying in the library have finally paid off, as i finished to of my exams today, hopefully with more than a "meh" result.

Today i also:
1. Had fun abusing Hadley via text
2. Ate humungous sushi
3. Lold with Luke Makenzie on the bus home.. at an asian who could not stop swaying in his sleep,  the lady beside him was in pure horror because he kept falling on her
4. drank sum juice
5. drank sum v
6. i had a shower.
7. um..

i need to dry my hair and go to sleep
its gonna be a very early night tonight. i need my rest for my last exam before i get incredibly crunkfucked after my last exam with brit as vesbarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

so.
Nyt ;]

--x

Whatever

if all this happens, im 500 metres away from you, in this state and you say "whatever", it truly shows the proof youre willing give.

So I run, hide and tear myself up. Start again with a brand new name. And eyes that see into infinity. I will disappear. I told you once and I'll say it again. I want my message read clear

...

ouch.

Forget about the truth and forget about the lies. Forget about the people who have influenced your life. forget about the rules and forget the emotions. forget that you hurt me, i fucking hate being your victim.

Take me to another movie,

Matthew Jenkins.

Study.

the 6th floor of the library buzzes. students whisper. phones vibrate. Pages turn. Coughing, coughing. chairs shuffle.  The book lays open. Riddled with mistakes. Pen askew. Sip of energy drink

.. Back to work.

Help Me

Its like im crumbling inside.
ive turned into this crazy person. i want these stupid exams to be over, and i want to sleep soundly at night. i havent had a proper sleep in a while. my body aches from the strains i have inflicted on myself. On the outside im fine, but on the inside im falling apart.

I was on the bus today, shuffling my music on the ipod aimlessley, when the sudden flood of panic took over me. i dont even know why i was panicking, i havent done anything, forgotten anyone.. all i know is that it was miserable.
i continued to shuffle my music rapidly until the emotions left me.

Once bitten, twice shy.

I have deprived you.

Class is boring today

Im tired =[
fully my fault though. i made the mistake of falling asleep at 3pm yesterday for 3 hours. i had a nightmare too! So after having dinner, a big shower and cleaning the bathroom i finally realised i couldnt get back to sleep. stupid nightmares.. so i went to kelvins, and his cuddles put me to sleeps straight away. thanks breh!

on a more positive note, i found out i got another A today!! YAAAY. im so happy, considering i thought id epically failed the paper, and forgotten to save it.


Currently:
Im sitting in communications classss. not much is happening anymore, im waiting for a bus buddy, so im not a loner on the bus to work. forgot a jumper.. so im going to get rained on. whooppp... there is a girl behind me who is listening to Taylor Swift WAY too loud on her ipod, and i dont know if she knows this, but shes also singing..HORRIBLY. well done love, the class is laughing at you.
Ive decided im going to have my flatwarming party Next weekend. Just realised i have 2 assignments due around that time. OHNOOOOO. Lol. oh well.
as long as i have a good time i dont care =]
flatting is cooo'
Have a good day

--x

PS - sorry for overreacting this morning. im a twat -_- and you are lovely.
PPS- my profile is pink.

I used to think about it then I...
Chose the word indulgence, now I...
Just need some more to stand my own.
Why I live this way? Who knows.
Why I live this way? He knows.
Is this damnation? Or a beginning?
I'll take "B".

WEOW

Got an A today for an assignment
REALLY needed that A
You dont know how happy i am right now
Just thought id tell you
<3
--x

Tuesday 22nd September 2009

Ran to catch the bus this morning. Win.
Bought a new cellphone today
Double Win.
See it Hurrrrrr


Laptop breaking. Fail
Not being active on bookface/twatter/blogpotts
Double Fail..
sorry everyone, promise ill get better


Dear Mrs,
Go on, keep pushing. Keep pushing to see the damage you are causing.before you know it, he'll be gone and you'll be all alone. Count your blessings and see how how selfish you really are..
im only doing the best i can
I really dont care what you think or say about me.
But im not going to let you hurt the person youve relyed on for so long.


Hold on Tight..

Pick-Turess

Ashleigh Hasing some DUUUDE time :

 

 

=]

This is Nikki. She Blogs too

See her blog here!!

We be dressing up at a dressup party

we rule

and you dont ^^

well kinda =]

Flat-teh.

I moved into my new flat on tuesday, and i already LOVE it
yaay
people are so cool =]
i should really start unpacking now
...
Should i really..?
Na
ill do it tomorrow.
[:

--x

pink...bitz?

 

I love you, Pink Bitz 

and you too Gina, 

my newfound drinking buddy 

<3

"Its sitting by the overcoat
The second shelf, the note she wrote
That I cant bring myself to throw away
And also
Reach she said for no one else but you,
Cuz you wont turn away
When someone else is gone..."

"...Im sorry bout the attitude
I need to give when Im with you
But no one else would take this shit from me
And Im so
Terrified of no one else but me
Im here all the time
I wont go away"

MATCHBOX TWENTY

www.twitter.com/tehashleigh
www.dailybooth.com/tehashleigh
www.facebook.com/ashleigh.monaghan?ref=profile

--X

Via Zess.tumblr.com

FRESH PRINCE WIN!

reads it, i garauntee a lol or two

Thank You

Teh Cuteness

Friday 11th September 2009

Hey, I know a joke! A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for the winter and now I am dead." Ha! It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

 Go and see UP. its so heartwarming. its tear-jerking and gives one a taste of what they should really feel 24/7. its brilliant.
i need this happiness right now. i really do. 

i <3 you, UP.

 

 

FCUK LIFE,

Lets get drunk.

Why me Yehh??

"Im being as selfless as i can be.."

- Zed

I feel so sick today
My body is doing retarded things and fucking up on me
and it hurts.
Typings hard, i keep shaking too.
fuck.


So its mid semester break, and wow, its really boring. Tomorrow will be my biggest event so far this week - Work. LOLJOYYYY. but not really.
I love how this week, so far, ive managed to feel on top of the world as well as the bottom. Trust me, the contrast is not good at all
im contemplating buying a car. should i or shouldnt i? i like having the money in my bank to look at.. ha. im such a homo.

Overall, im really dissapointed. at myself and at you. i shouldnt have gottn into this, and i should not have believed youd take my hand in agreement. two months is too long. ill already be gone. prove to me that my troubles for you have not been a complete waste of time. You really dont know what is standing in front of you
..why did i try
just hurt me even more..
Im stronger than this. 


--x

ohm.

I can has blog tomorrow pls?
i be very tired
thank you
i love you too
xx

Ashleigh's song of the day..

seventeen is just a test.

yeah and i would recommend

that you live with no regrets,

and even if it seems

like the world was crushing on you
you shouldnt let it hold you down
shouldnt hold you back.

oh no.

dont worry you'll show them,

theres a fire in your eyes
and i hope youll let it burn.

theres a scream in your voice

and i hope you will be heard.

theres a fire in your eyes

and i hope you'll let it burn until youre heard.

youre heard.

relax girl,

turn down the lights

no one can see you shining.

relax girl
itll be alright

no one can stop you if you tried.

Hmph

Angry.

Thanks for being there for me,
through good times and bad times.
I will be on your side even if the the world ends.
When the world is going,
I will be here,
now and until the end.
Your my very best friend.
The one that I look up to.
The one that I run to, when I have a problem.
The one that I talk to.
Your the one best friend that was always there for me.
I wanna thank you for all the things you gave and showed me.

"To a Friend"

"I draw this line and hope you'll take my side (breathe slow, breathe slow)
You shouldn't have to fight alone (you shouldn't have to fight at all)
It's nobody's battle but your own"

   - Alexisonfire <3

i hope im not unknowingly fucking everything up

missing you hurts. 

Enough procrastination now..

Still Ridiculed Despite How Hard I Have Tried

"so many ups and downs

my hearts a battleground

i need true emotions

i need more affection than you know

i need true emotions"

-Utada Hikaru

I hate it when the smell of heaven fades away on my wrist.

Addictions really suck. Resisting the want is one thing, but pulling myself away completley, thats a different story. Especially when i know they are dangerous.  I dont exactly eat danger for breakfast, you see. Take Mac and cheese for example, I FRKN love Mac and cheese, to the point where i am SURE i have a problem. But.. i wouldnt exactly go eating Mac and Cheese for breakfast now would i? Its not a terribly healthy food..

That made no sence.

Moving right along.

I need to clean my room. My bed resembles a graveyard of used souls. Everything that covers it is either worn, tattered, broken or rubbish. It has slowly morphed into a mountain on the left side of my bed. Why should i clean up this crap if nobody's going to see it?

Uni has changed everything, and it feels like i have no time for my friends anymore

Do not think that i hate you, and am avoiding you. 

That is not the case at all..

I am  looking foward to this weekend. I will finally see everyone. 

Ive missed you.

Something just made me smile:

(via www.tomtomsoup.tumblr.com)

“After Niel Armstrong came back to earth, no one, or nothing could ever impress him.”
“Would you like some of this finest caviar?”
“Na, fuck ya. I’ve been to the moon”

-Rhys Darby

Nikki Newport is cools :]

<3

"Being a pollyyyy
oh my golllyyy
Life. On. The street."
     -Michael Nutsford


<3..Stop it.

Monday 31st August 2009

Fkn tired. I had nooo sleep this weekend, but it was sweet <3

Thursday was the usual day at uni, then I had work. After work I went and saw The Orphan with Will and Nutsford and stuffs. It was a pretty wicked movie, and it was funny to watch ian huddled in his chair next to me. So the movie finished, we got some alcs from countdown and got up to some shinanagins, ending up at the park at mission heights with Will, Gina and Chris.

Friday was much the same really =P had work till 9, then brooke collected me, and we headed out to meet up with one of her Southseas friends, mohit. Mohit is my new buddy, and he is very broke. I was convinced to head to town, and we rocked out Father Teds pub till 3 am. Being sober driver, I got to drive brookes sex laurel home. Win.

So Saturday night rolled around, and I hadnt exactly had the best day.. Time to call my new buddy Mohit, and being the fancy talker he is, he managed to haggle up a ride to my house and back to the party in Onehunga. We hit town sometime around midnight, right about the time I realised I left my bloody heels in this random guys car. So there I was, rolling round town in my Dunks, got away with it though. Sobered up pretty quickly and before I knew it I was on the streets of k'rd with mohid and these people I had never met =S

To top off the weekend, I had a total of 1 hour sleep, managed to down 3 coffees at work on Sunday, and score me free pizza at Hellz, shot kelvin. Also used my pro skills, threw a Hellz shirt on and worked for a few hours - FOR FREE. I know, what is the world coming to?

--x

.

i feel like letting out the screams inside my head
why do you make ME so confused?
i just need to know whats in your head..
i hate this..

Tuesday 25th August 2009

Was late for the bus again.. Missed another stupid lecture.
So i woke up, did i feckload of chores around the house, vacuumed, cleaned the lounge and dining area, and my stepdad tells me that he doesnt want me to live with him anymore.
Apparently i dont do enough around the house.
Sure.
well guess i gota find ANOTHER flat, get a BIGGER loan and start AGAIN.
coz it never fits the way you want it to right??

I gotta say my headache is killing me this morning. didnt really sleep properly, i can kindof see why my head was so sore, had a giant stress release yesterday
Time to get back into my normal routine. Sortof

Finished 3 assignments and one assessment in the last week. ive had far too many late nights that i dont even have a sleeping pattern anymore. i dont.. sleep as such. but im ok!


so i guess in the last month or so ive ultimatley gotten nowhere. lovely..
its not what i wanted at all

vent later.
x

Bai.

But then again

..why would i be sorry when i was the one who got hurt?
ha.. right,
i love how you rub it back in my face and make me feel like its my fault.
grh. Your not even worth my time.. so why am i still bothering..
thats the hardest flipping bit.

Monday 24th August 2009

yet again i am up at 5am, doing an assignment that i have only half finished, only this time i cant concerntrate at all. ive hardly started doing what i need to do, and i have over 1000 words of writing i have to hand in by 12pm today. its not that im getting distracted, its that i have something in the way of my thinking

We're probrably the two most completely opposite people in the world, so i dont know what brought us together. but we were... and now look at the mess on our hands!

i cant give you what you want, and you cant give me what i want. thats why this mess is so insane. we both want two different things out of eachother, and no matter what the outcome, it was going to ruin both of us. does not change what i think
you know what i think.
this hurts so so bad, but i cant think of any other way
im really sorry.

Confusion Looms

&& Why does this always happen to me..
i manage to screw things up, when theyre right in my grasp.
Darnit.

We Are.

21st August 2009

Is what i feel right.. or not?
Why is it so hard to pick up?
At least i know whats in me. Just tell me
Tell me what i need to say to you.
Hope..hope
Hope that is right.

Thursday 20th August 2009

Herroh.
My Name is Ashleigh
And i am a Bug

Pleased to meet you.

Happy Birthday Mum. I Love you!
Wanna give you my present, but im scared you wont like it, or ill do it all wrong
>.<
Have fun in aussie, i wish i was with you

Today, i applied for Leave for New Years and Mid Semester Break.
Today was a good Day.
Today was a bad day >=|

Fuck today!
it sucked.
i guess thers tomorrow.

Wednesday 12th August 2009

Listening to: Streetlights - Kanye West




Just Help Me Please.
i dont know what i should do..

im no longer me

Im Just Lost..

Feelings? Foa Real..
..or not?

--x

Changes.

Listening To: Crazy? Yes! Dumb? No! - The Mint Chicks
One of my new Old favourite songs =P

WOAHzomg. Blogspot? i have to say i completely forgot about you for a good 7 months. ha, whoops. Much has changed..So i decided to delete all my old posts, cuz like, who read em anyway? ha. FRESH NEW START, cuz thats what lifes all about..

Ashleigh Monaghan Presently:
So yeah, my life pretty much consists of Uni, Work, and Uni. And my friends of course. ive got to say ive met Losta pretty astonishing people recently, and i havent smiled such a cherry smile in a longlong time, i feel like im free again! WEE..

I started my studies about 3 weeks ago, after spending 6 months saving money. i also moved out of home, and went flatting for a short time, before returning to flat with my stepdad. I had a friend show me how fun it really was to move house, even in a tiny granny mobile. He got great brownie points for that :]
So anyway, uni life is awesome! im loving the campus life, ive made sum sweet new friends too. My towers right opposite aotea square too. we all know what that means. QUEEN STREET. yup, shopping! and the occasional icecream at Giapo. Nom Nom. Looks ike my lecturers arent going too easy on the homework side, i got two essays to write in the next week! guhh!! oh well, good thing i love formal writing :]

Im addicted to twitter!!!! Oh Noss..and the saddest part is that i have like 30 tweets and 11 followers..HA! Loser Much? me thinks so..

Works the Same ol same ol. Connies Back! yaaay!! ive been put in fishing now, which is also a step above the sodden checkouts =D and i can now safely say ive had the dirty fishing convo on the job..:

Jake: "so uhh, ash..Ive got this HUGE rod, and im needing some accessories. what can you recommend??"
Ashleigh: "........................................................"

Shot jake. And of course the night is never complete until some fools come in, take off their shirts and make a mess of the weight lifting equpment. You know who you are.

So thats Ashleigh in her new nutshell!!
+ Alcahol abuse and smiles and whatnot
I Promise to keep this updated for the very few who look at it.
Props to those guys, make me feel famous bitches =P

--x

PS - happy birthday tom, you minx.






James is gay.
HA HAA THAT was it.